The scooter craze sweeping the nation is now over a year old, which means its been around long enough to start producing its own distinct subcultures. There’s the subculture of scooter “juicers,” people who gather up the devices in the evening to charge them for the next day’s riders. There’s the teenagers who love riding scooters despite the rules prohibiting it. And then there’s the emerging subculture of scooter riders that I like to call “lazy geniuses.”
In order to ride an electric scooter, you need some familiarity with the activity known as standing. Much like the kick scooters of our youth, the e-scooters offered by companies like Bird and Lime require riders to grasp the handlebars whilst standing on a narrow platform attached to two motorized wheels. Unless, of course, you are the type of person who laughs at such societal norms and instead forges your own path — say by wedging your scooter under a LaZ-Boy recliner.
Look at this majestic animal. This chariot-rider of a man. Sure, he’ll go through all the tedious steps to rent the scooter: download the app, scan his driver’s license, and even input his credit card information. But why stand when you can sit? And why sit when we can sit comfortably, on a padded cushion. As Monty Burns would say, sitting is the great leveler. From the mightiest Pharaoh to the lowliest peasant, who doesn’t enjoy a good sit?
Other hacks I’ve seen involve egg crates or other plastic containers that are easy to find in urban settings and can be duct-taped together for a less-comfy-than-a-Barcalounger-but no-less-convenient seating option.
Having ridden a Bird scooter a couple times, I can attest to the fact that these things can be difficult to control from a standing position. It’s slightly terrifying trying to make a hard turn while whizzing along at 15 mph. Riding a bike feels much more secure, thanks to the added control you get from your leg muscles. I’m not saying that everyone should emulate these lazy geniuses. For those with a little money to spend, they may want to consider dropping $50 on a retractable seat attachment on eBay.
It isn’t just scooters, but the proliferation of rideable electric devices of all types — e-bikes, electric skateboards — that is inspiring this mobility renaissance.
